T.V. is Probably a Weird Place to Find Wisdom

I wish more people understood this:

Criminal Minds Quotes
Reid: “It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

This is one of the things that shocks me that people don’t get. It’s also what makes me want to punch people who say things like, “Get over it.” Sorry, but that’s not how the human psyche works.

You don’t get over trauma, you just learn how to live around it.


Dear Stupid Criminals

Dear Stupid Criminals,

I almost feel sorry for you. Y’all get caught because you make stupid mistakes. Don’t you watch Law & Order, CSI, or Criminal Minds? Bones? Judge Judy? Anything?

Since I almost feel sorry for you and I’m not going to tell you anything you couldn’t learn yourself by watching reruns, here is my d’uh list for those who want to actually get away with it.

  1. If you get a big chunk of money from any kind of crime-ish thing you’ve done, do NOT deposit it in your bank account. Geezus. If you become a suspect for anything, or you die or any government agency decides to take a close look at you, the IRS for instance, they are going to see a large and unusual deposit and want to know what that’s about. Seriously, man, what are you thinking? Deposit your normal deposits and keep the cash out to use. It’s not like you took a check, right? So hold on to the cash.
  2. If you have to drive in the commission of your crime, try not to use your own car. If you must, make sure you have a car that no one will notice. Sure, it would be cool to use your ill-gotten gains to buy a Hummer or a Viper or whatever, but if you drive that around, people will see it and remember having seen it. You really ought to drive a Honda or Toyota or something that is common enough that it isn’t memorable. No flashy colors,either, or bumper stickers or any other unusual doodads.
  3. If you are going to rent a car instead, don’t rent it in your own name, ya idiot. How many people have been caught because the police traced the car and discovered who had rented it. In their own stupid names! If you’re going to rent a car to commit a crime, you probably aren’t above stealing an I.D., a credit card, getting a fake I.D., or taking other measures to avoid using your real name and address.
  4. If you need supplies, say, electrical tape, rope, things like that, don’t buy them at the local hardware store. Drive a couple of towns over and buy them there. Pay cash. Bonus tip – while shopping, cover any visible tattoos, wear a hat, don’t wear anything memorable, and whatever you do, don’t make a scene or do anything to draw attention to yourself. And throw away the fucking receipt! Not in your own trash can.
  5. It’s best not to use tools or supplies from your own house. If you must, throw away the rest of the trash bags, remainder of the ball of twine, or whatever. They can’t match it to what they find at your house if they don’t find anything at your house,
    To be continued…